Iguana Slaughter Motivation

I want to kill and eat all of the iguanas. Nothing personal, my scaly green friends. It’s just that Puerto Ricans aren’t the only unfortunate folks fighting the terrible consequences of colonization… Given the innocence of Iguana iguana, I do not support torment, harassment, or unnecessary suffering of these beautiful creatures. On the other hand, my end goal is the extermination of this invasive species from the majestic island of Puerto Rico for the following reasons:

  • agriculture damage (supposedly millions of $)
  • road/infrastructure damage including cave-ins
  • airport runway problem/jet damage
  • lowered tourism due to impact on native plants
  • riparian ecology destruction leading to soil erosion
  • native plant predation
  • out-competing native lizards for food
  • predating native lizards?
  • predating bees and other polinators (according to Almighty Armando)
  • displacing factory-farm meat consumption
  • displacing imported foods (for Puerto Ricans)
  • free protein!
  • zero-carbon food source
  • highly nutritional food source
  • delicious 🙂
  • personal harvest connects people to their food, the environment, and nature

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I’ve been holding this as a draft for a few months now, not exactly looking forward to the hours of reading scientific studies. Well it’s true that the only thing to fear is fear itself because it turns out, there is essentially no solid research! I had planned on economizing the damages for each point mentioned above and calculating the value of each dead iguana, but every other resource just gives vague amounts of damage, such as merely guessing “millions of dollars in damage!”

In the end, I guess I have to stick to theory and ethics regarding the situation. We as humans have a responsibility to remedy the destruction we have caused and that which is yet to be caused, but already set in motion by our actions. Unless we want a homogeneous global ecosystem with low biodiversity, we need to do something about the animals we relocate around the world. Eat iguanas. With all of the negative externalities inherent to the conventional food system, it’s a relief to have a food that you can feel morally good about. Although I have moved to Austin, I still plan to sell the highly acclaimed iguana jerky! I’ll post in the PRHGS Facebook group and my Instagram account. Please continue to support the cause through the Patreon account!

Big thanks to Allison and Michele for their continued support! If you missed it, check out the recipe I supplied to El Coqui of Rincon, which was published in their November issue!

If anyone is able to assist with the legalities of this project moving jerky from PR to Austin to sell for human consumption, I’d appreciate any help provided!

Now to hope Junior sends meat soon and look for invasives to harvest in Austin area. Farmers, call me about your hogs 🙂